Ramblings

See! I'm back. I don't really have anything specific to talk about so I'm just going to ramble and see where this goes.

I am a pretty independent person. I like to do things on my own and my way. But lately (the past year and especially the last six months) I have been a learning a difficult lesson. I've been learning to rely on the Lord. This may not sound like it should be too tough, to let the Creator of all take the wheel in my life but for me it has been. Some things I have become better at and some I still struggle to not try and do it my way. But overall, my relationship with my Heavenly Father has improved significantly over this time. I never thought I had a particularly bad relationship with Him, but I know now that I am closer to Him than I have ever been. I rely on Him for guidance in every part of my life. I'm not gonna lie, I have no idea how people go through life without the Gospel and the Lord's guidance through the Holy Ghost. I need it and use it soo much! I don't know how people make big life decisions, go through trials and just go through this life without Him. I couldn't and would never want to do that. It sounds just too miserable.

In one of my class, we were talking about physical fitness and obesity (imagine that!) and my teacher said something to the effect of "Don't go to the doctor to see if you can handle the effect of physical activity on your body. Go to the doctor if you're considering being sedentary to see if your body can handle the effect of lack of physical activity". Something like that. I think it's an awesome saying and right now I'm going to apply it to my relationship with the Lord. One thing I really have learned is that while sometimes it really is hard to do all the little things (read my scriptures every day and honestly, sometimes make it through church), I can't afford to NOT have His guidance with me at all times. This is how much I have come to truly rely on the Lord. I can't afford to do anything that will cost me the companionship of the Holy Ghost, even for a little bit. I'm wandering and I need all the direction I can get and the person I trust most with that is my Heavenly Father. I have increased my temple attendance in the last couple months and when I just need time alone, I go sit in the temple parking lot and just talk to my Father. I guess I just need a lot of answers right now and when the answers aren't readily available (as they usually aren't) I just need peace. I can't believe I haven't been doing this my whole life. I love it.

I have grown a lot, spiritually, this school year and I owe a lot of that to someone that has become one of my best friends. This person is an amazing example to me and has so many qualities that I want to develop. I am really lucky to have such a close friend that knows me so well. Life brings about a lot of changes, but regardless of how long this friend remains in my life, I will forever be grateful for the influence they have had in my life.

This week I get to purchase my cap and gown. Weird!!! I swear, time is just going by too fast! Somebody please make it slow down. I barely feel like I have to enjoy it or acknowledge it, except by deadlines at school. Work is getting busier and I have been assigned a couple projects that are going to keep me fairly busy for the rest of the semester and into the summer. Then on to big girl life and who knows what else. Hopefully some traveling! That would be wonderful!

Oh! Big news! So I hate spending money. Hate it. But this week I finally caved and used some of my federal tax refund to buy myself an iPod touch. I am soo excited! It should arrive sometime this week for me to pick up at the store and I just can't wait! Best Christmas/Birthday/Graduation present to me from me ever!!!

Well, now that I've talked your ear off, I'll go. But really, if you're having a hard time in anything, turn to the Lord. If you're happy, tell the Lord. Always go to our Heavenly Father. He knows it all and He's there for you. He'll lighten your loads and make your happy times even happier. I am so glad to have the Gospel in my life. I really, truly couldn't do this life without it.