Life Ponderings

Do you ever wonder if a younger version of you could see you now, what you'd think of yourself, of your life and of the decisions you've made? Would I like where I'm at? The young me had so many lofty dreams and aspirations. I thought I'd go to an Ivy League for my undergraduate and become something super prestigious like a doctor or a lawyer. I thought I'd get married around 25, so far that's nowhere in my future, so that one could likely happen. Being a college graduate of any sort was a given, but I didn't even get a super GPA. I mean it was good enough to get Cum Laude, but not really amazing. I'm not going to medical school, or PA school or even any sort of graduate school right now. I thought I'd have had multiple boyfriends by now and tons of dating experience, with lots of kisses and romantic moments. I thought I'd look a lot older and would dress a lot better, probably have awesome ways to do my makeup. I thought my life would be so different than it is.

My life isn't exactly turning out the way I thought it would and certainly not the way I even wanted it to. It's not supposed to. Nothing would be exciting if you knew how it was going to turn out. But I do think the naive, elitist young self that I was would be a little disappointed in who and where I am now. I'm nobody special, nobody important. I generally like the person that I am. I certainly wish there were a few parts of my past and of my present that were different, but don't we all!

I'm coming to realize that if I want things to be different, I have to change. Whether I'm willing to or whether I'm content are completely up to me. I have a good life and I just have to follow the promptings of the Spirit and be worthy to receive them. With that, there's no way I can go wrong. Everything happens for a reason. I don't need to be famous or wealthy. I just have to keep doing what I know is right and if there's something I want to do, I should just do it, so long as it's "heaven approved".

Now the questions are: what are my goals? What do I want to accomplish in the next few years and how am I going to do that?

WHAT DO I WANT?!?!?!

What in the world do I want?...