Life Ponderings

Do you ever wonder if a younger version of you could see you now, what you'd think of yourself, of your life and of the decisions you've made? Would I like where I'm at? The young me had so many lofty dreams and aspirations. I thought I'd go to an Ivy League for my undergraduate and become something super prestigious like a doctor or a lawyer. I thought I'd get married around 25, so far that's nowhere in my future, so that one could likely happen. Being a college graduate of any sort was a given, but I didn't even get a super GPA. I mean it was good enough to get Cum Laude, but not really amazing. I'm not going to medical school, or PA school or even any sort of graduate school right now. I thought I'd have had multiple boyfriends by now and tons of dating experience, with lots of kisses and romantic moments. I thought I'd look a lot older and would dress a lot better, probably have awesome ways to do my makeup. I thought my life would be so different than it is.

My life isn't exactly turning out the way I thought it would and certainly not the way I even wanted it to. It's not supposed to. Nothing would be exciting if you knew how it was going to turn out. But I do think the naive, elitist young self that I was would be a little disappointed in who and where I am now. I'm nobody special, nobody important. I generally like the person that I am. I certainly wish there were a few parts of my past and of my present that were different, but don't we all!

I'm coming to realize that if I want things to be different, I have to change. Whether I'm willing to or whether I'm content are completely up to me. I have a good life and I just have to follow the promptings of the Spirit and be worthy to receive them. With that, there's no way I can go wrong. Everything happens for a reason. I don't need to be famous or wealthy. I just have to keep doing what I know is right and if there's something I want to do, I should just do it, so long as it's "heaven approved".

Now the questions are: what are my goals? What do I want to accomplish in the next few years and how am I going to do that?

WHAT DO I WANT?!?!?!

What in the world do I want?...

Panicking a little...

Um, today is July 29...NEXT WEEK is August! One week from today (did you catch that?? ONE WEEK!) I can move into my new apartment. Holy moly! Where has time gone?!

Guys, I have to find a new bedroom set! My new apartment is not furnished, so I need a bed, a mattress and a dresser...and I am sure not made of money! I've been looking on KSL, but I haven't found anything very good yet. Plus I need it to be close, because I have no way to transport it from anywhere else...this is so bad. If you have any way to help me, let me know! My roommates were able to find sets for $50 and $100, so I think I can do it too! But seriously, let me know if you have any info on anything in the valley. It would be super helpful!

So it turns out I have to get some stuff fixed on my car...man, when it rains it pours! I just gave a talk, aren't I supposed to be getting blessings from that?! ;) But luckily, neither repair is anything to extensive and my uncle is going to help me get it fixed without having to pay labor. Awe.some!

I'm so sad to leave this apartment and to leave Shana and Kaela. I'm sure my new roommate, Tori, is great and we will become awesome friends, but it just won't be the same. I'll have to come back to the east side of town to play with them lots :)

Well, off to star gaze with Des and her friends. Peace and blessin's!

{Gravity}

Gravity - Sara Bareilles

Something always brings me back to you

And it never takes too long

No matter what I say or do

I still feel you here

Til the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch

You keep me without chains

I've never wanted anything so much

Than to drown in your love

And not feel your rain

Set me free

Leave me be

I don't wanna fall another moment

Into your gravity

Here I am and I stand

So tall

Just the way I'm supposed to be

But you're onto me

And all over me

You loved me cause I'm fragile

When I thought that I was strong

But you touch me for a little while

And all my fragile strength is gone

Set me free

Leave me be

I don't wanna fall another moment

Into your gravity

Here I am and I stand

So tall

Just the way I'm supposed to be

But you're onto me

And all over me

I live here on my knees

As I try to make you see

That you're everything I think I need

Here on the ground

But you're neither friend nor foe though I

Can't seem to let you go

One thing that I still know is that you're keep me

Down.....

You're keeping me down

You're onto me, you're onto me and all over

Something always brings me back to you

And it never takes too long

Food for Thought

The Secretary in our Stake Relief Society Presidency sent us this thought and it was so nice I decided you all should probably have the opportunity to read it too.

Elder Richard G. Scott said “Just when all seems to be going right,

challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When

those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence

that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you

experiences that stimulate growth, understanding and compassion, which

polish you for everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where

He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails

discomfort and pain” (Ensign Nov. 1995, 16-17)

Questions such as “Why does this have to happen to me? Lead us into

blind alleys. Rather Elder Scott suggests questions like “What am I to gain

from this experience?” and “How can I remember my many blessings in

times of trial?”

Hello! I've been gone a while...

Hello! Welcome back to this edition of Alyssa talks about nothing you really want to read about. (no, that ring doesn't mean a dang thing. I wanted to wear like 4 rings today and I only have so many fingers they fit on)

So I realize that my blog entries tend to be more like journal entries and if that's an issue, I apologize (but I don't actually care enough about what you think to change my blog...it's mine, you see). But I do want to make more of an effort to discuss topics. So if you have anything in particular that you've been dying to have me discuss, please leave a comment and let me know! I'll do my best to answer honestly. I have this thing about lying where I don't do it well, I don't like to do it...and it's just not right! :)

But until I have a topic to discuss, here's my life: as you can see I got a hair cut! It wasn't the nightmare I dreamed it would be but it was kinda scary. Desiree went with me for moral support and I'm very glad she did. I love, love, love it! I wish I had done it sooner. I know that my parents (especially my dad) and..ahem...boys...like my hair long (or girls hair in general) but that's kinda why I cut it. Because I wanted to do it! I did it for me and not anybody else and I have not one regret about it.

Yesterday I applied for a real, life, honest-to-goodness, full time, benefit giving, retirement fund starting job. I don't know if I'll even get an interview or anything, but it was a good experience to at least apply. I even got to put together a cover letter and everything! There's another job being created in the department I am currently in and word on the street is that I am in a very, very good position to acquire it. The job doesn't open until September, so I thought I would give this other job a go first. It would be ridiculous to put all my eggs in one basket, so to speak, and bank on this second job working out. I have a feeling I'm going to have to make some really difficult decisions in the very near future. Not especially looking forward to that.

I officially have a new apartment and I move in about 3 weeks! So crazy! Kaili is moving with me but I am going to miss Shana and Kaela soooooo much! This has been the best set of roommates I have ever had and I have enjoyed this year with them immensely. Change is always super hard. Ugh. Too much of it going on all at once!

Let's see, what else...I got my email telling me where to pick up my racing packet for my Half! It's coming up faster than I would like! Tomorrow I am running 7 miles, for the first time since high school. I'm a little nervous because I'm not sure I can really do it, but it will be good for me. Plus tonight I'm going to go get me some new running shoes that I can start using! YES!!!! I need them so bad. My knees, hips and achilles have been causing me issues. I know, I know, I sound like a 98 year old woman. Running does that to you.

Lastly, my trip to New York is a short 4 weeks away!!! I'm pretty sure it still doesn't feel real to me. I'm super excited. By then, I'll hopefully have a good idea of where my life is heading and I'll be more...well on the road to more financially stable. haha It's going to be wonderful. Plus it will be my first big trip without my parents (I don't know that I can really count Reno and Vegas as "big trips"). Ah, to be a grown up! Sure has it's pros and cons but right now I'm looking forward to the pros. :)

Well, almost time to go get my shoes! Asics all the way!

Good Ol' America

This last weekend was great fun! My family and I went up to Bear Lake for the Craig/Glover family reunion. It was nice to be out in the sun, since I'm cooped up in an office for 40 hours a week. It was also great to spend time with my family. Now that the kids are getting older (and the weird change of dynamic having Christian on a mission brings in), family time is a lot more enjoyable than it was when we were little. There are a LOT less arguments, we made it a whole trip without a threat from the parents and nobody got grounded (ok, let's be honest, Emi didn't get grounded. I was grounded a whole 2-3 times my whole childhood).

I got to go running both mornings with my dad, which was super awesome. He's a great runner and goes like 5 or 6 miles a day. It took everything in me to keep up with him...and I'm the one who's supposed to be able to run 13 miles in 8 weeks! Ahh! It was great to spend time with him and listen to him talk about things while we ran. A nice change from the music I usually listen to :)

Then Monday my roommates (minus Girl) and I went to the Hyrum parade, where Kaela got a piece of candy and a bottle of water! We were so proud she didn't injure any small children in the process. Later that night Girl, Madi Kims, Des, Allie and others went to the Hyrum fireworks. We had a great spot on a baseball field and the fireworks were...well, fine. haha It was still a fun night though!

You know how when you're healing, some days are harder than others? Well, today was hard. At times it was really hard to keep myself together and not break down at work. But I'm good. I have awesome friends, a great life and some things just take time. I'm healing, I'm happy and today was just a minor set back in the growing experience this has been. If you have been a positive influence in my life (whether or not you know it), thank you, thank you! I wouldn't be the same without you.

"Life may not always be beautiful, but it's a beautiful life" <3!

Atkins Unite!

So after what some might see as a very vain blog post, I decided to tone it down and talk about real things...let's see...

Yesterday I went down to Salt Lake to see my family and attend a very extended family reunion. It was for the descendants of William and Lula Atkin, my great-great-grandparents (so I knew very few people there). From there my family line goes like this: my great-grandpa Floyd Atkin (93 and still truckin' along! He's one of the s), my grandma Marilyn Atkin Allen, and then my daddy-o, Dain Atkin Craig! It was nice to see some of my Atkin side that I don't see very often and, of course it was awesome to spend the day with my family. I LOVE having them so much closer, although my bank account is taking a hit with all the gas I'm using up. haha

Dad must have been off talking to some random family members while these were taken

After the reunion we went to my parents' place for a bit and then we went to Ruth's Diner in Immigration Canyon for dinner! It was a really fun atmosphere and there was good live music there.

Emi made this for me. I thought it was presumptuous ;)

I can never, ever get my dad to pose seriously for a picture. Ever.

But I did get Emi to look happy! One success! :)

I love my family! They are so great!

In other news, I just purchased my airplane tickets to New York for August! It's going to be so much fun but I'm a little nervous about roaming such a big city. It will be an adventure for sure! I'm so glad my friends Kaili and Heidi are going with me and that Monica will play with us while Garrett's at work. :)

It's a good life, folks. An increasingly poor life, but a good life.