Ramblings

See! I'm back. I don't really have anything specific to talk about so I'm just going to ramble and see where this goes.

I am a pretty independent person. I like to do things on my own and my way. But lately (the past year and especially the last six months) I have been a learning a difficult lesson. I've been learning to rely on the Lord. This may not sound like it should be too tough, to let the Creator of all take the wheel in my life but for me it has been. Some things I have become better at and some I still struggle to not try and do it my way. But overall, my relationship with my Heavenly Father has improved significantly over this time. I never thought I had a particularly bad relationship with Him, but I know now that I am closer to Him than I have ever been. I rely on Him for guidance in every part of my life. I'm not gonna lie, I have no idea how people go through life without the Gospel and the Lord's guidance through the Holy Ghost. I need it and use it soo much! I don't know how people make big life decisions, go through trials and just go through this life without Him. I couldn't and would never want to do that. It sounds just too miserable.

In one of my class, we were talking about physical fitness and obesity (imagine that!) and my teacher said something to the effect of "Don't go to the doctor to see if you can handle the effect of physical activity on your body. Go to the doctor if you're considering being sedentary to see if your body can handle the effect of lack of physical activity". Something like that. I think it's an awesome saying and right now I'm going to apply it to my relationship with the Lord. One thing I really have learned is that while sometimes it really is hard to do all the little things (read my scriptures every day and honestly, sometimes make it through church), I can't afford to NOT have His guidance with me at all times. This is how much I have come to truly rely on the Lord. I can't afford to do anything that will cost me the companionship of the Holy Ghost, even for a little bit. I'm wandering and I need all the direction I can get and the person I trust most with that is my Heavenly Father. I have increased my temple attendance in the last couple months and when I just need time alone, I go sit in the temple parking lot and just talk to my Father. I guess I just need a lot of answers right now and when the answers aren't readily available (as they usually aren't) I just need peace. I can't believe I haven't been doing this my whole life. I love it.

I have grown a lot, spiritually, this school year and I owe a lot of that to someone that has become one of my best friends. This person is an amazing example to me and has so many qualities that I want to develop. I am really lucky to have such a close friend that knows me so well. Life brings about a lot of changes, but regardless of how long this friend remains in my life, I will forever be grateful for the influence they have had in my life.

This week I get to purchase my cap and gown. Weird!!! I swear, time is just going by too fast! Somebody please make it slow down. I barely feel like I have to enjoy it or acknowledge it, except by deadlines at school. Work is getting busier and I have been assigned a couple projects that are going to keep me fairly busy for the rest of the semester and into the summer. Then on to big girl life and who knows what else. Hopefully some traveling! That would be wonderful!

Oh! Big news! So I hate spending money. Hate it. But this week I finally caved and used some of my federal tax refund to buy myself an iPod touch. I am soo excited! It should arrive sometime this week for me to pick up at the store and I just can't wait! Best Christmas/Birthday/Graduation present to me from me ever!!!

Well, now that I've talked your ear off, I'll go. But really, if you're having a hard time in anything, turn to the Lord. If you're happy, tell the Lord. Always go to our Heavenly Father. He knows it all and He's there for you. He'll lighten your loads and make your happy times even happier. I am so glad to have the Gospel in my life. I really, truly couldn't do this life without it.

Viva Las Vegas

So I went to Las Vegas last week. After the long week I just had, this seems like it was a long, long time ago!

I got to see the Aggies beat the Broncos for the Championship.

Eat delicious gelato from the Aria (which is also insanely pretty inside!)

Hang out with some of my favorite ladies! Always in Aggie Blue :)

My travel buddies. We had good times to say the least!

And we made one of the greatest jumping pictures of all time.

I am so proud.

That is just a little look at my Spring Break. You can look at my facebook for more pictures. It was soo nice to be in warm weather for a few days and take a break from real life. I think I was more tired the Monday after Spring Break than I was before. haha Speaking of real life though, I should get back to that. I have lots of Biomechanics homework to do and about 10 years of reading for my other classes. Peace and love, all! I hope life is going well for you and you're taking time to enjoy it. Maybe I'll post again tomorrow and share deep thoughts. I have those sometimes, you know.

Tomorrow...

I'll be on my way to...

as well as:

• Temperatures in the 70s!
• Playing with lots of friends
• Road trip stories
• WAC Tournament, where the Aggies will secure a spot in the NCAA tournament
• Maybe some slot machines...we'll see...
• 6 girls in one hotel room...2 beds...one bathroom!
  
• Sight seeing
• Window shopping
• Eating at Serendipity!
• M&M World (a personal favorite!)
• Lots of walking
• Maybe getting some sun!
  
• No work, no school!

But most of all...

A MUCH NEED BREAK!!!!

Just sayin...

I do not like BYU. This was drilled into me from a young age and I stick by it. Therefore, one of the things I can't stand is this Jimmer craze. Yes, the boy is incredibly talented, but the obsession with him is honestly disgusting and super annoying. There are so many other amazingly talented players in the country that don't get nearly as much attention as he does. This brings me to the point of this double post (second post in one day). I was sent this chart by my awesome boss. It's a comparison of Jimmer's stats to Jaycee Carroll's, one of Utah State's greatest players ever. I was a freshman during Jaycee's senior year, so I was able to see him in action and he truly is amazing. So look it over and don't even try to tell me Jimmer's better than Jaycee. Because he's not. Also, this is my blog, so I do what I want.

GO AGGIES!!!!

Warning: This one's kind of a downer.

Something I've been struggling with as graduation approaches and my life changes is feeling insignificant and unimportant. I'm not writing this to get pity (in fact, I can't tell you how much I detest being pitied) or have anyone who's bored enough to read this make me feel better. I just want to talk about it.

I feel like everyone around me is so amazing and accomplishing their dreams. I have friends going to law school, medical school, nursing school, whatever other graduate school, getting internships, getting married, having kids and just progressing with their lives! Then there's me. I'm graduating, sure (which I am very proud of! don't get me wrong) but it doesn't seem like enough. I'm not one to settle for mediocrity nor am I one to let others shine bright while I sit in a dark corner. Maybe that came out wrong, but what I meant was I want to shine too. My whole life I have been the amitious, hard working girl who would do and be something great. Right now, I don't feel like I'm that girl. I still work hard and I do want to do and be something amazing but I have no idea what that is. I have never had such little direction in my life and it scares me. I have never felt so far away from the girl I always thought I was. It's really strange to think about, but I don't have a dream. I don't know what I want to do with my career. I have a vision for how I want my life and my standard of living to be. I know what I want my home to be like and the things I think are important for my children to learn. I just don't know how to get there or what I'll be doing when I get there.

One thing the Lord has asked me to work on a lot lately is patience, in so many aspects of my life. I am trying really hard to just trust in Him and let him lead my life and I think I have become a lot better in the last year. I know that if I let Him direct me, I will end up where I am supposed to and that my life will turn out the way that is best for me. It's just really, really hard.

I know I'm griping and complaining a lot right now, but I really have a good life. One of my friends pointed out to me that if we made a list of all the good things in our lives compared to the bad things, the good would very soon out weigh the bad. I completely agree. I have awesome roommates, a great apartment, wonderful friends, my family lives closer, I'm graduating from college, I am getting healthier and my body is getting stronger and more fit, Spring Break is next week, tonight is Taco Tuesday and I really am overall a very happy girl!

Sorry for the rant. It just kinda spilled out. Guess I'm stressing about life more than I think I am. Life is good though. Promise. I'll get my life figured out someday and be and doing something amazing. Just you wait and see! :)

Lyrics

Anyone who really knows me and music knows that I am a sucker for lyrics. I like a good beat but when it comes down to it, 9 times out of 10 the lyrics decide whether or not I like a song. Here is a song that has been on my mind and my heart for a couple days. I even made it my ringtone. I love it. My little sister Emi has been telling me to go check out this artist so I finally did and I found this song, which I had heard a couple times but didn't fall in love with til just earlier this week. My mom teases me that I am a hopeless romantic and it's true. This song makes me happy.

I'd Rather Be with You - Joshua Radin

Sitting here, on this lonely dock
Watch the rain play on the ocean top
All the things I feel I need to say
I can't explain in any other way

I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too

Now here's the sun, come to dry the rain
Warm my shoulders and relieve the pain
You're the one thing that I'm missing here
With you beside me I no longer fear

I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too

I could have saved so much time for us
Had I seen the way to get to where I am today
You waited on me for so long
So now, listen to me say:

I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too
Say you feel the way I do

Link if you want to go listen to it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyHQQWY5FAU

Love

In an effort to not be one of those girls who is weird and bitter when they are single on Valentine's Day, I am going to post some of my current favorite love songs. Enjoy :)

Marry Me - Train
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghZt2cILcCU

She's Everything - Brad Paisley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsQmkkmDYpk

Unbelievable - Josh Gracin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpGFQABfV-Y

My parents' song: Love of My Life - Jim Brickman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYfVsVL7nIc

and the song I can't get out of my head lately! Not quite as serious as these other ones. haha
Skin and Bones - Romance on a Rocketship
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tmRwed0RnU

"The greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return" -Eden Ahbez